For my children

Date Submitted: 09/06/2002
Author Info: Nicki (Oklahoma City, OK - USA) 
Occupation: Administrative
Lived in NY on 9.11.01?: No
Knew someone who perished?: No

It was a beautiful day in central Oklahoma. The air was cool, the sky was clear and blue. I was driving to work, listening to the radio, singing. I couldn’t have been any more happy, I had a wonderful life, husband and daughter, we had all that we needed, and I felt safe, secure, and protected. It took a while to feel like that, after all, Oklahomans had to overcome the Murrah Bombing. I was actually just past that area, on I-40, when I heard the news. As I listened, the picture I had in my mind was a small private plane in trouble. I listened intently, not knowing the severity of the scene. By the time I made it to work, it was all abuzz, rumors had already made their rounds, or so I thought. Every detail that was passed to me I took with a grain of salt, after all this is America, that stuff doesn’t happen over here. It was not until my mother called to ask me if I was watching TV or listening to the radio, that I began to understand that I had been underestimating the information being passed to me.

Everyone was listening to radios, and huddled up in clumps of people, like vagabonds around a fire. All of the faces were slack-jawed and wincing. It was erily quite outside, and I work in a busy area of downtown Oklahoma City, where sirens blare and cars roar. But at that moment in time, all was still. I think that the people of Oklahoma City were holding their breath and praying for it to not be happening again. I remember thinking about my child at home that was going to be one year old in November, and wondering to myself, how could I have brought a child into this world. Will we be okay? Around 10ish, maybe later all state employees were dismissed by the Governor.

I tried to stay as long as I could, I had the feeling like I was on a ship that was going down, but I didn’t want to go home and face what was going on in the world. Yet I ached to hold my child and be held by my own mother. As I walked through our parking garage to my car, I had to tell myself to stay in control, at least until I could get to my car for some privacy.

As soon as I shut my door, and let go, the tears fell fast and furious, and I felt SO helpless. I felt as though it had happened in Oklahoma yet again, it seem so close to home, but I think the nation, even the world felt the same way. Everyone was in a hurry to get home, not knowing what was going to happen next. Expecting the clouds to fall out of the sky. I pulled myself together and rushed home to my baby. I was never more relieved when my family made it home and we could hold eachother and say I love you one more time.


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