I need to tell you more

Date Submitted: 09/04/2002
Author Info: Kaaren (Pittsburgh, PA - USA) 
Occupation: Unemployed/Between Jobs
Lived in NY on 9.11.01?: No
Knew someone who perished?: No

I just wrote yesterday about my experiences on September 11 and 12, but I feel that I have to tell more.

When something tragic like this happens, I do not normally go into hysterics and/or crying jags. Often times, other people mistakenly think that I just do not care because I do not instantly cry or scream. That is simply not the case. More often than not, the full impact does not hit me until later.

I knew no one who was affected. The closest I had was an aunt who worked in the Pentagon (she has long since retired). My heart still goes out to all the victims, their families, friends, and colleagues. But, as I mentioned, I had to deal with someone named Debb who kept running at the mouth while at work. I felt that a lot of things she said that day were very degrading to America.

Instead of whether or not people should have been giving blood (which she did NOT do), she should have been worrying whether her teen son will be called upon to fight for, and possibly die for this wonderful country. I wanted to tell her that she should go off to Afghanistan where she would not be allowed to show her face in public, then she would see just how good she has it in America.

My father, several uncles, a cousin, and a number of men whom I have worked with fought for this country. Each of them returned to this country to take their places as decent, productive members of society. I have always had a warm place in my heart for veterans. The world is a better place because they lived and served our country, knowing that they could conceivably give their lives.

I do, however, worry for one of my very best and dearest friends and also a wonderful spiritual mentor, who is an Air Force chaplain. He has expressed his desire to serve should the need arise, and was able to listen to me when I needed someone to tell exactly how I was feeling.

Even though no one I knew was affected, I found it difficult to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas, knowing that many families would have one less place in the church/synagogue pew and at the dinner table. I couldn’t even send Christmas cards to family and friends. I told myself that it was out of respect for families who lost loved ones.

I want to cry, but sometimes the tears just will not come.

God Bless America.


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