My Feelings On Sept 10th; My Birthday On Sept 11th

Date Submitted: 12/10/2001
Author Info: Shane (Orlando, FL - USA) 
Occupation: Other
Lived in NY on 9.11.01?: No
Knew someone who perished?: No

DATE-sept 10th
Reason for writing- DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY (THis is an exact copy of the journal entry that i wrote sept 10th the day before my birthday sept 11th no edits have been made no changes have been made …My deepest love and feeling goes out to all of the people of sept11th When you love something it is in your heart for ever ..,..AND WHEN YOU LOSE SOMETHING YOU REMEMBER IT FOREVER AND SOON ONE DAY WILL FIND IT AGAIN.)

Dear journal Its sept 10th the day before my birthday ..for some reason I feel my birthday is going to be special this year… i dont know maybe ill get a new girl or a promotion at work..or something good will happen …Im just writing in my journal to say that i want my birthday to be the best one i ever had this year.. I just moved to orlando and its hard as hell out here ,,im going crazy with the big change …i dont know maybe its cause i miss the daam city …im used to deer, pigeons,smog,and rude people… not aligators armordillos and sunshine..ahhh what the hell its florida and its where im at now so i might has well live with it ….Even though its a city boys hell ….there isnt anything out here for a new york new jersey south philly guy like me to do …..WHAT THE HELL AM I WRITING TO MYSELF FOR . cause its my birthday tomorrow and i want to be able to look back and remember what i was thinking the day before my birthday….daaam its cold tonite feels weird to me i dont know why but it just feels like a sh*@! nite… have ya ever gotten that feeling ya know the one where your stomache goes week and your arms feel strengthless…as if you were going to get into a fight, or something was going to happen ….no no no more like when you almost crash into someone in your car or you just avoided an accident ….well thats how im feeling right now…and i have no idea why ..maybe its my adrenilen running cause its my 22cond birthday tomorrow and im going to be partying my ass off..or maybe its cause iv had a few drinks already hahah… i dont know but its kinda crazy …. daam i wish i could spend my birthday with all my friends from back home …its not going to be the same without them this year ..ILL tell ya when i first moved here to florida i thought i would find friends just like my old friends .,,,,wrong no body compares to the ones i love….what is up with me i keep writing and writing …my hands are shaking for some reason why the hell do i feel so weird …im getting a feeling that i dont think iv had before and its not a good feeling …its almost as if im scared hahah for what though i think im just blabbing on and on cause its my birthday and i dont know if im going to have a surprise party or whats going to happen ….I cant wait… I wonder what my parrents have in store this year …will they wake me up screaming and yelling happy birthday or will they let me sleep and wake myself up to a house filled with baloons and decorations .., whatever it is i hope it is going to be the best birthday i have ever had .. im growing up pretty daaam quick and i want this to be the last birthday that i spend in my house hahaha living with mommy and daddy….dont get me wrong i love them but i just need to let go and grow up ……yes im a mommys boy i know ..but im also 22 and i gotta move out…maybe ill move to New York and continue my career in radio. ktu103.5 baby …..Daaam my head is killing me ..first i feel scared hahah for no reason then my head starts hurting …what the hell is up with me ..its now 11pm 1 more hour and its my birthday awwwww yeh baby ….even though i feel like sh!! Something isnt right did i forget to do something did i not do something i was supposed to …cause i feel weird as hell…I just think i should go to sleep and wake up with a big smile knowing its my birthday..tomorrow…..ahhhh sept. 11th the best day ever haha my birthday…They should make it a world holiday cause its my birthday ….sept 11th Shane Coyle day……ok ok ok now im being just a little vein .. I dont know i just want to have a great day tomorrow and instead of waiting for all my people to call me from back home ill call them and let them no that i miss them … they will probably forget to call me anyway..hahaha i miss all my friends and family back home….you never tell your friends how much you care about them until your gone or they are gone ….it sucks… then you miss them like crazy when there gone…. I hate the thought of death just the thought of me dieing or my friends or family dieing makes me scared it makes me feel almost the way i feel right now….weak and scared …why the hell am i feeling this way right now .hahah im not going to die and none of my friends are going to die …im just exited cause tomorrow is my birthday….AND its going to be a big party day for me …ahhh ok ok well im going to go chill for a little bit i really do feel weird …this feeling that im getting is crazy its almost like something scared me real bad ….but nothing happened …i dont know i hope nothing bad happens tonite or tomorrow ….its like i have this gut feeling that is eating at me….i dont know maybe i should stay awake…hahahahah nahhh forget about it its just that im exited about my birthday tomorrow ….im going to bed see ya in the bright shiny beautiful morning also known as SEPT 11TH My BIRTHDAY !!! good nite journal…


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