I was running late for work so by the time I arrived it was after 6am, (9am New York time) for my job in financial markets. A girlfriend who was visiting from Canada was still sleeping in my shared SF apt. I walked into the office and the screens were all set to CNN. I got to witness the live news about the plane hitting the first tower, and the attack in Washington DC. There was talk about the number of aircraft still unaccounted for and that one might still be headed for SF, while at the same time we received news that within minutes the city would be closing the Golden Gate and Bay Bridge. I felt the sheer panic, and in that moment the only thing that made sense was to go back home to regroup with my friends. The US seemed to be under attack and there was no where to hide. My friend and I were desperate to get in touch with the people we loved. Her family was in Australia, my family was just a phone call away… but my boyfriend…he was on a business trip somewhere in Europe and all I wanted was to hear his voice.
My friends and I were numb, and after 2 hours of being glued to the tv, feeling the horror and realizing the impact of the attacks…we left the house. We walked in silence towards the ocean, through the park which was a very calming and weird experience. When we got back my boyfriend called from Sweden to ask me how I was, to tell me how he wished he was there with me and to tell me that he loved me. The world was sad that day, but even that day I found space in my heart to feel thankful and hopeful about moving on.