My whole story is pretty long, and all of 2001 prior to 9/11 foreshadowed what was to come, but I will keep my story short.
I was 14 and in the 8th grade, and in English class. I wasn’t too concerned with anything, just bored and waiting for class presentations to be over. My English class was between 8:20-9:01 am…and at that point in time I was a very self absorbed, naive teenage girl, and didn’t give much thought to anything really, just somewhat listless. But about a minute before the bell sounded at 9:01, I suddenly had a surge of absolute terror and fear come over me. I had had those “gut feelings” that come out of no where before, and usually it had to do with my family. I thought to myself, “What if my mother’s not okay…no…it’s not her…what is it?” I asked my intuition. My exact thoughts were “Somethings about to unfold and have a domino affect, I don’t know where, who, but now is when and it’s too big for me to comprehend, expect or even remotely stop.” The bell rang, and I had to walk to the opposite end of the hall to my next class, and I remember looking at my peers in the hallway thinking, “They don’t know…no one knows…” But then again, what the hell was I thinking about? Because I don’t know what my intuition is telling me. Walking down that hallway, I felt all go into slow motion, but by the time I got to my Science class, I had to put these feelings aside. I was thinking, should I go to the office to to call my mom? (This was before most teenagers had cell phones) But I thought, no she is fine…I repressed this feeling, and then two hours later, we were told of the news by my history teacher. I remember right before he told us the news, we were all waiting for class to begin and he was holding a piece of paper. While he was outside talking to another faculty member, I thought to myself, “This is it…whatever is on that piece of paper he’s holding.” It could have been an announcement about after school activities or assemblies…but I knew. That silent alarm I repressed in my mind, and through my veins. Although this feeling had stuck out to me that part of the morning, I didn’t put two and two together surprisingly until much later. I didn’t tell anyone for a while, and I felt if I did it would be offensive and sound like BS. I know for sure, and remember that those were my exact thoughts. I have not over exaggerated my personal story, or elaborated on it. If people chose to believe me, that’s fine, if not, that’s fine. It just haunts me to this day. I had had some smaller premonitions earlier that year, but this was too strange. It was a feeling that I had never felt before, and I never felt again. Rest in peace to all lives who were lost that day, at war and those who have suffered/passed from the after affects.
-My father had designed terminals at Logan Airport (where Atta had departed)
-My neighbors brother worked in the world trade center, and worked on a floor that was hit directly upon impact.
-Many people from towns around me where killed in flights to L.A. including an older man from my town my mother knew
-People who were clients of my mothers at the time passed away
I visited ground zero this february…footage, pictures, and stories of complete havoc of that day could not describe the unavoidable depressing, heavy, helpless energy I felt while I visited. Unable to hold in my tears which landed on the plaques with the engraved names…I put my hands over the names of those who’s calls were recorded and people I knew about.
It’s been 11 years, and it still feels like yesterday. I am almost 26 now, and it sometimes feels as though, the pain has not diminished.